Sing about me, I’m dying of thirst

I opened the door to the room and saw his toes. That’s the image that will forever be seared into my brain. Gray toes. He was an Indian man but his toes had turned gray. “John, wake up!!!” His wife pleaded. “We’re heading back home today, don’t do this!” Apparently his sleep apnea machine was going off, because he had died in his sleep and the noise from the alarm was the thing that woke up his wife. Can you imagine? You’re on vacation and the day you’re supposed to fly back, you realize that the person you love is dead. My heart broke for this perfect stranger. I was the responding security officer and now I have to wait for the police. All this time spent with this inconsolable woman. What do I say? What do I do? They don’t exactly train us for this situation.

After I left the situation, I was left very pensive. I thought about all the things that man probably had planned. I thought about his loved ones in Australia. I thought about what his funeral might look like. And then I thought about what would be said about him. What kind of stories they would tell?What kind of man was he? Was he a good father? Brother? Husband? I thought of all that, and then I thought about my own mortality.

Kendrick Lamar has a song called “Sing about me, I’m dying of thirst.” It’s a song written from the perspective of multiple people, but the overall takeaway is what will be said about me once I’m gone. This life thing is fragile and none of us are getting out alive. It’s funny how death can be such a reminder of how we live. What will people say about me at my funeral? Have a lived a life that is worthy of song? A life worthy of celebration?

I look at Dolly Parton’s recent death and I think that’s the best legacy. Then it hit me. Find a way to impact people. I continuously look for ways to pay it forward and do a kind act. I want the good karma. I think that’s the best way to forge your legacy. With Ms. Parton it was the imagination library, touching millions of children’s lives through literacy.

None of us will hear the things people say about us at our funeral. I don’t have many wishes, but I truly hope my legacy is that of helping. I hope someone’s life was better because of something I’ve done. I hope someone will have a reason to “sing about me.” Because, “when the lights shut off and it’s my turn to settle down, my main concern; is promise that you will sing about me.” For if you live in someone’s memory, do you ever really die?